How Little Wins Make Big Changes
I’m writing this post before I succumb to over-thinking and procrastination. It has been too long since my last entry and before I ambush myself with negative self talk, I will shut away those thoughts and lock the door. Family asleep. Nightly TV viewing interrupted. Wine can stay. Word doc open.
A few weeks ago, I went axe throwing for a work event. Yes, axe throwing. I was immediately
horrified hesitant that I would not only make a fool of myself in front of co-workers and bosses, but I was also freaked out by the possibility of injuring myself. With. An. Axe. I laughed it off saying there’s no way I could participate in a dress and sandals. Of course, everyone offered to rent shoes and socks for me, but I kept trying to wiggle my way out of it. I joked that I would wake up in the middle of the night filled with regret, as I secretly reveled in the thought of playing it safe as a spectator. I realized there might be some truth to that as soon as the words left my mouth. Not that axe throwing is at the top of my bucket list, but I seriously had no good reason to not try it. Before I could stop myself, I yelped “I’ll do it”.
With my mouth still hanging open, I turned around and went straight to the front desk to grab shoes and socks. As I was tying my shoe laces, one of the instructors came up to me holding a clipboard and asked for my name. I immediately responded thinking it was another waiver or list of participants. “Thanks.” he said, “We’ll let you know when the competition begins.” He casually walked off. That’s right, competition. Before I could react, my name was called and an axe was handed to me.
I watched the instructor, tested the motion a few times. Too late to back out now, especially knowing I had an audience. I gripped the axe, rotated it back behind my head, narrowed my eyes on the target, launched (what felt like my whole body) forward, and released. To my surprise, I not only hit the board – I hit the target! To my greater surprise, I LOVED it. I felt invigorated. Like a badass. I couldn’t stop practicing my throws. I was obsessed. Came home to my husband and son and showed the video of me in action. There was no dialing down my adventure high.
It may sound cheesy, but it hit me that I’m not fully aware of all the latent opportunities around me, simply because it doesn’t seem like something “I” would do. I unknowingly subscribe to a limiting sense of self. Many of us have a narrative we run on repeat on who we think we should be and we play small within those boundaries. What if we step forward even when we’re unsure, but one step at a time? Breakdown those big goals into into small, manageable habits? I already know what happens when I don’t. So that is why I’m hitting publish.
For your viewing pleasure…a video and a text exchange with my husband, Alex.
Thank you for reading. Would love to hear your stories about how you have pushed yourself out of your comfort zone -or- need that extra push to get going 😉